predisposed in storm clouds

<sup>dear someone;


one.

don't tell me we are empty when i still
feel where my heart used to beat; i'm
positive there's something there. don't
tell me we have nothing to live for, just
to make sure i'm as depressed as you
are. dear someone; maybe you are a
sinking ship but i am not your captain.


two.

you can blacken your eyes with ashes
but all the gunmetal grey can't cover
the black and blue bruises beneath your
pretty eyelashes. you can forgive but
please tell me you won't forget    [me]


three.

you shivered under raindrops like they
were liquid nitrogen, and i wiped your
tears away when you couldn't take it
much longer. i was confusing satellites
and airplanes for stars and supernovas
and you were the one who told me we
can't see stars in our city. i asked you
if i could pretend for a little while and
you left me, covered in ice and doubt.


four.

sometimes we would smile and laugh
and for a minute or two it's like gravity
took a break, but it was always quick to
catch us as soon as we thought we
were free. sometimes we wished gravity
was strong enough to finally pull us under.


five.

our ribcages were just that, cells that
kept us upright [with some help from
our spine] even when we didn't want
to sit up anymore. you promised me
you had the prettiest words beneath
your tongue, and the prettiest heart
between your lungs, and as your lips
and mine met i actually believed you.


six.

all of a sudden my nightmares were playing
out infront of me like some kind of twisted
alice in wonderland come to life; i was alice
and maybe you were the white rabbit, you
were always running around looking for
something, someone, or maybe you were
looking for everything or anyone. maybe
you were the mad hatter, shouting random
obscurities and i couldn't quite keep up with
what you were saying. all i know is you looked
me straight in the eyes and reminded me
that you didn't love me, and you couldn't
love me if you wanted to. [i was okay with
that for a minute or two before reality set in
and my entire body felt like it was smashed]


seven.

i'm not sure why i still take care of you.
i still wipe the tears from your eyes and
replace the hornets in your throat with fire
flies. i still kiss you on the lips, even when
your mouth tastes like whiskey and your
tongue is bleeding your lies. a thousand
lightning bugs couldn't keep your heart
alive, especially when it seemed like every
thing you touched fell silent. [even me.]</sup>